Throughout my career and the content I share on this blog, a central theme has always been healing. We often explore strategies for healing your gut, overcoming challenges like Hashimoto’s, and nourishing your body with healing foods. While I frequently discuss delicious paleo recipes, the benefits of castor oil packs, and the power of collagen peptides, today I want to introduce a different, yet profoundly essential, aspect of the healing process: forgiveness.
Many of my readers navigate the complexities of autoimmune diseases, chronic illnesses, or persistent gut issues, diligently seeking resolution through dietary changes and lifestyle adjustments. Yet, regardless of our physical health, we are all, in some fundamental way, imperfect beings with areas in need of repair. This extends beyond our physical bodies to our emotional wellbeing, our relationships, and our overall sense of peace. No one is immune to life’s hurts, and each of us carries a unique burden that requires some form of healing.
It’s natural to feel anger when faced with persistent health challenges. In the demanding world of chronic illness, this anger often targets doctors who may have failed us, loved ones who struggled to believe or understand our pain, a food system that seems inherently broken, and perhaps most painfully, ourselves for how we believe we arrived at this challenging place. Does this resonate with you? Are you nodding along, recognizing these feelings within yourself? Holding onto these grudges, whether conscious or subconscious, can paradoxically become one of the biggest impediments to true healing.
Today, I want to share invaluable insights gleaned from my own journey about how to harness the transformative power of forgiveness for healing. We’ll explore why forgiveness is not merely an option but a necessity, understand that feeling angry is a natural human response, and identify the key areas and individuals—including yourself—who may be awaiting your forgiveness.
Why Forgiveness Is Crucial for Your Healing Journey
The intricate connection between our emotional state and physical health is undeniable. Anger, deep-seated grudges, and unresolved emotional pain are not abstract concepts; they are profoundly inflammatory forces within the body. Think of them as internal stressors, as potent, if not more so, than a sugary dessert or the harmful chemicals in a cigarette. This chronic emotional stress keeps our body’s stress response perpetually active, flooding our system with cortisol and other stress hormones. This sustained physiological state can suppress the immune system, disrupt digestion, exacerbate inflammation, and hinder the body’s natural capacity for repair.
When we are consumed by anger, it robs us of the ability to fully enjoy life, to find joy in simple moments, or to connect authentically with others. Furthermore, a sense of victimization can create a powerful mental block, leading us to believe that true healing is impossible or perpetually out of reach. Forgiveness, therefore, stands as a central, indispensable pillar in any comprehensive healing journey. It may be one of the most challenging tasks we undertake, and the path to genuine forgiveness can be long and winding, but the effort to achieve it is paramount for holistic well-being.
It’s vital to acknowledge that feeling angry, hurt, or wronged does not make you a “bad person.” It makes you human. These emotions are valid responses to difficult experiences. However, allowing these feelings to fester and transform into persistent grudges can become a significant barrier, inadvertently holding you back from the very healing you desperately seek. Releasing these emotional weights is not about condoning past wrongs, but about liberating your own future.
Who Deserves Your Forgiveness to Unlock Deeper Healing
Forgive Your Doctor and The Medical System
We naturally place immense trust and expectation on doctors and the broader medical system. We anticipate them to be the solvers of our problems, the restorers of our health. And this expectation is not inherently flawed; medical professionals dedicate their lives to helping people heal. However, when this trust is broken, whether through misdiagnosis, dismissive attitudes, or a lack of understanding regarding complex conditions like chronic illness, the consequences are twofold. We suffer not only from the unresolved health issues but also from the profound psychological pain of anger and betrayal, which can itself become a significant roadblock to recovery.
I distinctly recall the overwhelming sense of injustice and anger I felt towards my doctors during my childhood. Growing up, I struggled with an aversion to meat, was overweight, constantly exhausted, and my body was clearly signalling distress. What I truly needed was compassionate guidance to address my digestive issues, heal my gut, and learn about a nutrient-dense diet. Instead, I encountered doctors who scoffed when I explained that eating meat and fat made me gag, doctors who called me “fat,” and doctors who simply advised me to “exercise more” to be healthy. The memory of one doctor telling me that my entire daily protein requirement could be met by eating enough peanuts to cover the palm of my hand is etched in my mind—an astounding piece of advice given to a middle-schooler that, in retrospect, underscores the systemic lack of nutritional understanding within conventional medicine at the time.
Looking back, these experiences ignite a surge of anger. I saw dozens of practitioners who dismissed my symptoms, turned me away, and made me question my own sanity to the point where I doubted if I was even genuinely sick. This medical gaslighting and lack of support profoundly hindered my health and my life for years. I was, understandably, absolutely livid.
However, one of my former mentors offered a perspective that has always resonated with me: “Doctors are practicing.” This simple phrase highlights a fundamental truth: doctors are human, and the medical systems they operate within are inherently imperfect. They can never single-handedly solve all of our complex health challenges. Their knowledge is constantly evolving, and their training often has limitations, particularly concerning holistic and root-cause approaches to chronic illness.
The intense grudge I harbored against the medical establishment was consuming. It prevented me from fully trusting even the good, functional medicine doctors I later encountered, and it fostered a deep-seated belief that I might never truly heal. This lingering resentment, rather than protecting me, actively sabotaged my healing efforts. While it’s incredibly difficult, and it absolutely does not excuse the harm caused by inadequate care, releasing this anger is a vital step in overcoming the pain and moving forward with your health.
I had to consciously choose to forgive the doctors who had wronged me. This act of forgiveness wasn’t about excusing their past actions, but about freeing myself to build new, healthier relationships with my current practitioners and to openly embrace new research and knowledge that could empower my own self-education. It didn’t make the ridiculous “peanut doctor” situation okay, but it profoundly alleviated the emotional burden that particular memory had imposed on me for years.
Forgive The Food System
This particular aspect of forgiveness often feels like the most challenging, almost absurd, request. How can one possibly forgive a system that prioritizes profit over health, floods our markets with processed foods, heavily promotes sugar to children, cultivates genetically modified crops with questionable long-term effects, and disseminates confusing or outright misleading nutritional information? I am indeed asking you to consider forgiving that system.
Again, let’s be clear: forgiveness does not equate to condoning or accepting the status quo.
Forgiving the conventional food system doesn’t mean you must remain silent or cease advocating for change. On the contrary, it liberates you from the draining anger, allowing you to channel your energy more effectively towards promoting and building a healthier, more natural, and sustainable food system. Prolonged anger, while justified, can often be paralyzing. It can trap us in a cycle of frustration without necessarily leading to constructive action.
The current state of our global food system is far from ideal. But what tangible progress does anger alone truly achieve? While it can be a catalyst for initial awareness, sustained, productive action comes from a more empowered place. Actively advocating for a better system and educating others on the potential for positive change are the real drivers. I have personally had to redirect my energy, consciously choosing to celebrate and support the thriving aspects of the natural, organic, and local food movements, rather than dwelling solely on the detrimental practices of the mainstream. And guess what? People are far more receptive to learning about what they can do and the positive alternatives that exist. They are drawn to information that empowers them to improve their lives, rather than just reinforcing their anger. This shift in focus not only benefits my audience but also sustains my own passion and drive.
Forgive Those Who Wronged You
Like many navigating a chronic illness, I’ve had my share of doubters and naysayers. There were former friends and ex-partners who dismissed my health problems as imaginary, ridiculed my lifestyle choices, or simply refused to show any interest in my journey towards health. The thought of their dismissiveness and lack of empathy used to make my blood boil for years, leaving me feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Let me reiterate: forgiving these individuals does not make their past actions acceptable. Nor does it imply that they must remain a part of your life—indeed, most of them are no longer in mine. What it does, profoundly, is help you move past the hurt they inflicted. It allows you to release the emotional burden associated with those memories, preventing past wounds from dictating your present and future happiness. Forgiveness, in this context, is a powerful act of self-preservation. It helps open your heart to new, supportive relationships and, in some cases, can even enable the rebuilding of bridges with people who have genuinely sought to make amends for past wrongs.
Forgive Yourself
This is arguably the most significant and often the most challenging aspect of forgiveness. I’ve encountered countless individuals who express profound self-blame, uttering phrases like, “I did this to myself,” or agonizing with the question, “What did I do wrong to deserve this illness?” This self-reproach can be a relentless, internal critic.
For years, I meticulously replayed the timeline of my own health decline in my mind. “First, I resisted eating real food,” I’d tell myself, “then I binged on sugar, then I restricted and failed to nourish myself properly, then I overused antibiotics and NSAIDs, and finally, I got sick.” In this narrative, it felt entirely, overwhelmingly, like my fault.
Embracing personal responsibility and identifying areas where we can make healthier choices are not inherently negative. These are crucial steps in empowerment and growth. However, when this self-reflection morphs into self-hatred, guilt, or shame, it becomes incredibly destructive. You become your own harshest judge, and this internal conflict can severely impede your ability to heal.
It’s likely true that there are choices you made in the past that, with current knowledge, you would handle differently. We all make mistakes; it is an intrinsic part of the human experience. But the longer we cling to that guilt and shame for past actions, the longer we remain stuck in a cycle of self-blame, preventing ourselves from moving forward and implementing positive changes. Acknowledging past mistakes is one thing; allowing them to define your self-worth and block your future is another.
Yes, I certainly made many choices regarding my health that were not beneficial. However, at the time, I didn’t possess the knowledge or understanding I have now. I was simply doing the best I could with the information and resources available to me. And ultimately, I am human. Self-forgiveness is a profound mental and emotional shift that requires conscious effort and ongoing practice, but its power to liberate you and propel you forward on your healing journey is immeasurable.
Practical Steps: How to Cultivate Forgiveness and Embrace Healing
First, Acknowledge That Anger and Grudges Are Natural Human Responses
Forgiveness, while profoundly powerful, is often one of the most difficult elements of a healing journey to master. It’s entirely natural to hold grudges and feel anger, especially when we have compelling reasons for these emotions. Whether it’s anger towards a doctor or a medical system that left us feeling abandoned for years, resentment towards a loved one for their unkindness or misunderstanding, or deep-seated anger at ourselves for past choices, these feelings are valid and human. The first step towards forgiveness is simply to acknowledge these emotions without judgment. Understand that these feelings are a normal part of processing hurt and injustice, but recognize that holding onto them indefinitely prevents true liberation.
Next, Internalize That Forgiveness Does Not Make Past Wrongs “Okay”
Perhaps the most significant misconception surrounding forgiveness is the belief that by forgiving, you are condoning or excusing the actions that caused you pain. This is simply not true. If you were wronged by an individual, an institution, or even by circumstances, forgiving them or the situation does not magically erase the wrong or make it acceptable. Forgiveness is not about absolving the perpetrator; it is about liberating yourself. It is a profound act of self-care and self-preservation.
Forgiveness primarily serves to free you from the crippling emotional anguish of anger, resentment, and bitterness. It severs the invisible chains that bind you to past hurts, allowing you to reclaim your emotional energy and redirect it towards healing and growth.
Still Be an Empowered Advocate for What Is Right
The act of forgiving does not necessitate passive acceptance or silence. On the contrary, releasing the burden of anger can empower you to become an even more effective advocate for what is right. This is why, despite having forgiven the medical system that caused me so much distress for years, I continue to advocate for alternative, holistic, and functional approaches to health and against certain conventional practices. My advocacy stems from a place of clarity and conviction, not from reactive anger. Forgiveness simply allows you to take a significant, unburdened step further along your healing journey, enabling you to speak and act from a place of strength rather than lingering pain.
Practice Forgiveness Verbally and Deeply In Your Heart
If someone has wronged you, or if you find yourself struggling with self-blame, an important step can be to verbally articulate your forgiveness. This doesn’t necessarily mean confronting the person directly, though in some healthy relationships, it can be a part of reconciliation. It might involve speaking aloud to yourself, to a trusted friend or therapist, or even writing it down. Acknowledging forgiveness with your voice can be a powerful ritual, externalizing an internal commitment.
More importantly, cultivate forgiveness deeply and completely within your heart. It’s easy to say the words “I forgive you” or “I forgive myself,” but true forgiveness involves releasing the emotional grip of grudges. This often requires conscious, repeated effort. Whenever old feelings of resentment or anger resurface, gently but firmly remind yourself of your intention to let go. Visualize yourself releasing these heavy burdens, creating space for peace and healing.
Finally, Remember That You Can Be Forgiven, and The Ultimate Example for Forgiveness Already Exists
We live in a society that often struggles with the concept of grace and forgiveness. Make a mistake, or commit a wrong, and you can often find yourself permanently marked. While justice and accountability are undeniably crucial, our culture sometimes offers limited examples of true grace and unconditional forgiveness. The persistent drive for perfection and the fear of judgment can make self-forgiveness particularly difficult.
For me, the ultimate example of boundless grace and forgiveness is found in God’s grace. Being human is not about achieving perfection or being “good enough” by some unattainable standard; we will always fall short. Yet, no matter how imperfect or incomplete we feel, or how far we believe we’ve strayed, there is always the promise of forgiveness. This spiritual perspective can offer immense comfort and serve as a powerful model for extending forgiveness to others and, crucially, to ourselves. It reminds us that empathy, understanding, and second chances are possible, regardless of past transgressions.
Forgiveness is not a one-time event; it is a lifelong practice. We will undoubtedly face situations throughout our lives that require us to forgive, and to continuously re-teach ourselves how to do so. But each time we commit to this profound act, remarkable and transformative changes unfold in our health, our relationships, and our overall quality of life. It truly is a missing link to holistic healing.
